The Pissed Off Professor

Summer Session Enrollment Watch:

ENGWR 100 (College Writing): 30/28 (Change = +1)
ENGWR 301 (College Composition and Literature): 32/25 (Change = -1)

It appears my worries regarding whether or not my summer classes were going to fill are over. With more than two weeks remaining before the session begins, both of the courses I’m teaching are full, and each has a waiting list.

This means I have to get down to the business of really planning things, and it’s a job I both love and hate.

I love it because there is such a feeling of newness, and there is always an opportunity to do something different, but I hate it because I generally get that so-much-to-do-and-so-little-time-in-which-to-do-it feeling which has got to be the educational equivalent of a panic attack.

This feeling is magnified, say, tenfold when summer session is at issue—and that’s exactly the issue here.

The first few meetings are important: they set a tone for the entire semester, and finding the proper ground between maniacal bitch and oh well is always a challenge. (Given my natural lean toward maniacal bitch, I really have to work at this.)

The 100 course is roughly one-third grammar / punctuation and two-thirds writing. The challenge is easing students into the grammar and punctuation because going at it too hard too early freaks people out. The problem with this in a six-week session is there is very little time to ease into anything. Additionally, because the course requires building blocks and their application, putting off the grammar and punctuation is a delicate matter.

M.C. Escher’s image of a hand drawing a hand is exactly what I mean.

The 301 course is reading heavy, so picking the correct initial reads is crucial to getting the course off to a bang. I have read and reread the texts for the 301 class, and I’m nearing a point where I think I know which selections I want to assign first, but it’s still a roll of the dice. I know two things: I can’t start with Black Maria because it’s poetry, and like grammar and punctuation, poetry freaks most people out. I also don’t want to start with the graphic novel (i.e. comic book) because I think it might send the wrong message.

It’s got to be story that’s shorter than long, not too gory, but absolutely engrossing.

This, my friends, is the nitty gritty of teaching.

Today’s post is my way of letting each of you experience a bit of my daily routine: reading, marking, and grading papers.

This is one of those areas I have little room to complain about; after all, papers are a staple of a teacher’s life, right?

Okay, while that might be is the case, I can still complain about things surrounding the issue of papers that simply shouldn’t exist:

1. I don’t get paid to do it.
2. There’s way too much of it.
3. It’s often obvious that I spend more time reading a piece than a student took writing it.

Therefore, I give you the way the above statement would look had one of my far-too-typical students (or several of my colleagues) written it:

Todays post be my way uh lettin’ each uh ya’ ‘espuh’ience some bit uh my daily routine, dig dis: eyeballin’, markin’, and gradin’ sheets.

Dis be one uh dose areas ah’ gots’ little room t’complain about; afta’ all, sheets are some staple uh a teachers life, right?

Okay, while dat might be be de case, ah’ can still complain about de stuff surroundin’ de issue uh sheets dat simply shouldnt ‘esist, dig dis:

1. I dont git paid t’do it.
2. Deres way too much uh it.
3. Its often obvious dat ah’ spend mo’e time eyeballin’ some piece dan some student took writin’ it.

Okay, I know, if it had really been written by one of my students, the grammar might have been a bit better, and surely there would have been more text-message-based spelling involved, but ya’ git whut ah’ mean, right?

Want to know what your thoughts would look like if a witless and or/lazy individual from your life wrote them? Go here, and enjoy!

I normally don’t spend too much time doing things like this; however, every once-in-awhile, I find a quiz that I just can’t resist.

Case-in-point:

I normally don’t spend too much time doing

You can take the quiz HERE.

It might be reasonable to assume my problem is not the educational system or the students and teachers involved therein, but my not really liking what I do. There is some truth to this; however, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t dislike his or her job at times and elements of his or her job at all times.

Here are the things that would make my job perfect:

Classes filled with students who were as interested in learning about English as they are about learning the secret codes of text-messaging;

Having my own office in which to work and conference;

Getting paid for the hours I have to work outside of the classroom to do the job expected of me inside the classroom—I’d even take an hourly wage cut of up to 50% to get this because I’d still make 3-5 times what I currently make.

If I could have the above three things, I would rarely be pissed off.

So, why do I stay? Primarily, because I can’t help myself. I’ve tried not teaching, and it doesn’t work well for me. The interaction with the few students who do make the job special coupled with the fact that I love learning make teaching a relatively good fit. I also know in my heart that too many teachers like me are quitting, and too many teachers not like me are sticking around: eventually, this will kill education all together.

Yesterday’s class discussion was one of those teaching moments that are really rewarding. Sometimes they happen unexpectedly, and other times, we teachers build to them and hope for results. Occasionally, those anticipated results are met, and the world is a beautiful place with endless possibilities.

My students had just completed a reading cycle that included The Declaration of Independence, “What to the Slave Is the Fourth of July?” (by Frederick Douglass), and “Ain’t I a Woman?” by Sojourner Truth. I begin many semester’s with a similar reading cycle to engage students in critical thinking and to (try) to inspire them.

We discuss the famous lines from The Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

We focus on the terms “self-evident,” “men,” “equal,” “unalienable Rights,” and then, once the class is clear on each of these terms, we move on to the date on which The Declaration was signed.

It is an amazing thing to watch students begin to connect the date of the signing of our Declaration and realize that over 20 years later, Sojourner Truth was born into slavery, and over 20 years after that, so was Frederick Douglass.

The reason I stay is because details like these are important.

The reason I stay is because listening to students get angry when they get the contradiction is what teaching is all about.

The reason I stay is because the deeper understanding that begins with those readings and the accompanying discussions sticks with a few of the students just long enough for them to become more aware.

It’s the magic that for a short time makes the horrid conditions, and the unconscionable pay irrelevant.