I Am Such a Bitch
Jul 8th, 2007 by Shawn Hansen
More and more, I am faced with students who are certain their failures are my fault or out of their control due to a variety of stumbling blocks the world sets out as a means to foil their otherwise responsible intentions.
Many of my students have been conditioned to believe that if they don’t like something, they should ignore it or argue about it. (Under no circumstances should they accept anything not completely satisfactory to them.)
This leads to a variety of problems in the classroom, several of which came to a rotten head a few days ago.
I have to preface some of this with a few facts:
- Many students do not staple multiple page papers together unless specifically required to do so.
- When it is required, they still don’t get the staple should be in-place before papers are collected—even if this is expressed on the course syllabus and the assignment’s handout (see #2).
- Many students do not actually put stock in handouts, lectures, statements, etc. unless said things serve their purposes.
- Many students feel their errors are not actually errors but “honest mistakes” for which they should be forgiven.
- This is especially true if items from #2 have been ignored and the work has subsequently been penalized accordingly.
- Failing to “forgive” these “honest mistakes” is indicative of a teacher who is “terrible.”
- The phrase “I didn’t know” is a panacea for all things student-related.
- Ironically, most students don’t know what “panacea” means.
- Looking up words is for dorks.
It was midterm day, and the task was to write. (This was met with some complaints initially, and even after I reminded students they were in a composition course, a few thought an in-class writing task was unreasonable.)
I had prepared them in terms of what the exam would cover (a handout and a reading), what they needed to bring (all of their regular supplies plus plenty of binder paper, several pens, a dictionary, and a stapler) and what things I wouldn’t tolerate (tardiness, sharing materials, failing to follow instructions, or cheating).
Several students came to class without textbooks or handouts; others arrived without sufficient writing supplies; one student swore I said the midterm was the following week.
The ogre in me came out right away: when one of these students tried begging supplies from his classmates, I asked that he stop. (My explaining it was not fair to put his classmates in such an awkward position—to share or not share—not only fell on deaf ears, but also led to several students expressing their shock at my inflexibility.)
Fine, who am I to try to protect the classroom environment?
I let the beggars do their thing, and after fifteen minutes of wasted time, I reminded the class of what I thought was obvious: that time would have to come off of their exam time. (That another class uses the room after ours isn’t relevant—just ask my students—it’s merely my desire to undermine their whole lives for reasons arbitrary.)
Just before passing out the exam, I collected their reading journals. The cries of several students who hadn’t bothered to bring them wasted several more minutes. (After all, it’s not really a class day—it’s midterm day—why would they have their bring-them-with-you-every-day-we-meet-no-exceptions journals? See #2.)
Having passed out the prompt for the exam, three students asked me for copies of the handout they were to use as they hadn’t brought theirs. I didn’t have extras. I am evil because of this.
The end of the exam brought with it a number of students who hadn’t bothered to bring their staplers—a required supply as stated on the course syllabus—so began classmatus interruptus. I stopped the brain staple-less students, took their papers, stapled them with my stapler, and marked them for a 25% grade reduction. (I am such a bitch.)
The pinnacle of my evil was reached when I refused to accept the journal of one student at the end of the class period.
Several odd things fell into magical place as exam and journal were passed my way:
- This student had whined about not having brought her journal.
- I had caught the student text-messaging while the great beg was taking place.
- This student had abruptly arisen from her seat and left the room about 15 minutes after the exam had begun.
- Coming back from what I thought was a bathroom break, she had a notebook with her.
I had put several pieces of a lovely puzzle together, and the picture I’d formed wasn’t a pretty one: she’d left her journal at home, so she text messaged someone to deliver it, and when the someone arrived, she left the classroom to get it, so she could turn it in at the end of class.
I don’t take late journals, and they had been collected 90 minutes prior.
According to the student, she’d found the “journal” in her backpack while putting her things away, and it was just unreasonable of me not to take it. (To avoid more arguing while several students struggled to finish writing their exams, I took her notebook.)
I’ll leave it to you to guess her reaction the following Monday when she saw her “journal” hadn’t been evaluated or given any points. I’ll also leave it to you to imagine the conversation I was forced to endure regarding her notebook not being a journal as described on the course syllabus.
I think now is the time to begin soliciting votes for teacher bitch-of-the-year!
1. I vote you teacher of the year.
2. I vote your student the “I-didn’t-really-think-you-meant-what-you-wrote-in-your-syllabus” award.
3. Or, I could vote your student the, “But-I-don’t-think-the-rules-should-apply-to-me” award.
4. Or, pehaps, the “You’re-not-fair-you-never-counted-to-THREE” award.
5. Sigh.
I’ve been reading your blog, but I’ve never introduced myself. Hi, this is me… Anyhow, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. And I like your tone. And I’m here to pass on a “you’ve been tagged” meme. If you are interested, please read at my blog. If not, alas and woe.
http://gz7comp.blogspot.com/2007/07/ouch-been-tagged.html
Don’t you love dealing with entitled adults? Such a pleasure…
I dunno…some of this IS pretty bitchy. If I may offer a couple of cliches by which I try to live in dealing with students: pick your battles, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Really, not bringing one’s own stapler to class (thus making the poor beleaguered professor do some stapling–the horror!) becomes 25% of the exam grade? If I were one of your students, I’d be pretty pissed off about that too.
Personally, I always accept late assignments without penalty (remarkably, this policy is very seldom abused). My assignments are not busywork, and the idea is to do the work and thereby learn something; I don’t see how the learning process is encouraged by iron-fisted enforcement of a completely arbitrary deadline. 90 minutes late? Come on–who cares?
Ok, Sven, enough with the cool approach. I may not penalize students for not having staplers, but that’s only because I ask them to turn in their work in folders (thus eliminating the need for staplers). When I collect three sections of comp essays in one day (75 essays), it’s a mere survival device to have the papers organized somehow. And the time wasted in stapler-sharing, essay assembling, etc. is distracting, especially when students need to come preapred.
As for the implication that the rest of us assign “busywork” by which students don’t learn is just insulting. Glad you’re such a saint.
In the meantime, I’m sure my voice is one of many sympathizing with Shawn and thinking of our own Prof. Evil moments.
I’m not a teacher or professor, but I do recognize that you all have to put up with a lot of crap. However, I’m going to have to side with Sven on this one. As if exam day isn’t stressful enough, you give your students a laundry list of minor details they have to remember (bring own stapler, dictionary, all other possible class materials). Then you are ridiculously strict when they forget something (25% off for not having their own stapler?!). What are you teaching your students by doing this? That yes, they may have worked hard, learned a lot, and been good students, but all that is ignored if they don’t meet point on your checklist? I respected, and learned the most, from professors who knew how to balance being strict with cutting people some slack. I don’t say give in to your students’ every demands (many of which probably act very entitled), but I do say try and be a little more reasonable. They’ll respect you more and respond to you better when you grade them on their work and not on their stapler.
LG,
Life is stressful, and I have never heard tell of a student dying from an exam.
This is college not kindergarten—no one is forced to go, and no one is forced to take my class.
I set forth my expectations on the very first day of the semester: it begins with a course syllabus containing a list of required items, two of which are a stapler and staples.
All of my assignments, their due dates, and the percentage value of each is stated in this syllabus, and students are free to drop my course if my rules don’t fit them. (Again, they are provided this information on the very first day of class. It is also always available on my school Web site, so any student wishing to look into what I expect can do so before enrolling in one of my courses.)
If they stay, I expect my rules to be followed. If they are good students, they don’t ignore guidelines, due dates, required materials, etc.
When I was a student, I respected any instructor who had clearly stated expectations, valued my time, and showed up prepared. Any instructor who failed to meet my expectations or who failed to value my time and effort, I avoided.
Frankly, my job is not to earn the respect of my students, it is to educate them.
Miss J,
I’ve tried the folder approach; however, two issues arise: first, the folders add such bulk as to make collecting them impractical; second, the expense of folders is a burden for many students at the community college level.
Ironically, it is the money issue that prompted me not to require students to purchase Blue Books for exams—some simply can’t afford the expense. Additionally, the bookstore running out and the trip to get them was always a pain for me when I was a student, so I choose to allow students to use their own binder paper—as long as it is stapled.
This will change come fall—I am going back to Blue Books, and I look forward to the complaints this will cause. . .
I have to confess, I agree with Sven et. al. — 25% off the grade for not bringing a stapler? Jeez… how much off would it be if they used the wrong color ink?
“Frankly, my job is not to earn the respect of my students, it is to educate them.”
Absolutely correct, and I agree with almost everything you’ve said. Yet I fail to see how 25% off a student’s grade for being out of staples teaches anything, unless the lesson is that some people value presentation over content. I simply hope the midterm grade is a small enough percentage of the total that an otherwise good student would still be able to earn a grade reflecting the quality of his or her work despite one mistake. After all, isn’t that what grades are really for?
Lisa,
No one lost credit for being “out of” staples.
“I fail to see how 25% off a student’s grade for being out of staples teaches anything”: interesting point, but let’s be honest, sitting for a midterm teaches nothing beyond (perhaps) how best to operate under pressure. It is an exam. It, like a final, is a test to gauge a student’s progress.
In my opinion—one I freely express to my students prior to the midterm (and final)—taking a test is a performance during which content, stress management, and following rules all factor into the outcome, and it is the outcome for which they are evaluated.
I repeat: the stapler and staples are required course materials, and like all other required course materials, they are to be brought to every class session. I also state clearly on my course syllabus that I do not accept multi-page work unless it is stapled.
I wonder, if a student completed a complex math problem, and the only mistake she made was leaving off the “-” sign, and other than that, the content was all perfect, doesn’t the “-” sign become more an issue of presentation than content? What does the student then learn if points are deducted for such a silly thing?
It seems to me that my reducing a grade by 25% for failing to staple a paper—a required task easily completed with required supplies—is no different from a math teacher’s taking off a certain percentage for a missed “-”.
Real education would not require any rules or exams. Real education would see willing students and teachers gathering without complaint to share the joy of learning, but we are decades past many students having real interest in being in school and/or learning.
Students stealing staplers, chalk, dry erase markers, overhead projectors, computers, etc. is one reason teachers are now expected to carry numerous room keys and an office supply store with them. Pardon me for not being willing to carry something I don’t need: a fully loaded stapler.
Let’s get brutally honest here: beyond a measurement of middle- and final-term progress, these in-class compositions are required components in writing classes because so many students do not write their own out-of-class papers. It is now routine for students to have to present their IDs to take tests and to prove their reading/writing skills in person because they would rather cheat than than do the work and perhaps learn something.
The stapler thing I leave to the rest of the commenters. Back in the day when I was an adjunct, I just carried one in my backpack. Anyone needed one, I passed it around or simply placed it at the table for them to use in turning in their papers if needed. I agree with some of the commenters here that one has to pick the battles. But, as it is your classroom, syllabus, and rules, then the expectation is for the rules to be followed. If the rules were made clear, presented upfront, and the students accepted them (by staying in the class), then consequences should follow for failure to abide. Pure and simple, that is the real world.
As for the journal lady, good for you for not grading it. Not only did she cheat, but she thought rules did not apply to her unlike the rest of the class who did turn in their journal on time. Again, consequences for actions. Pure and simple.
I discovered this blog from a link at the ACRLog. I think I am adding it to my aggregator. Best, and keep on blogging.
Angel,
It’s good to have you here.
again the stapler thing is dumb..25%? i mean give me a break..what if the student writes an excellent composition & could easily get a 100 on it..but its ruined and most they can get is 75 cause of no stapler..thats just plain ridiculous & i echo another commentor who said that’s teaching them NOTHING…us students have enough to worry about let alone having to worry about bringing some dumbass stapler..
Josh,
Please stay off the internet: it’s obvious you need to focus on your education.
Dumb and dumbass in the same post? You are a shining example of the kind of intelligence represented by students today.
Bravo!
shawn can i come back?