The Pissed Off Professor

The semester is finally in full swing: due dates are coming at regular intervals, and the reality of being a student with its associated responsibilities is beginning to dawn on some of the members of my class.

This is the time of the semester during which teachers are asked expected to be soothsayers.

My morning began with the first of what will undoubtedly be several e-mailed inquiries of similar content: the wayward student wanting to know whether or not he will pass the course in which he is enrolled.

When I get questions like this, the first place I turn is my grade book program. This is the desktop version of the same thing each student can access via the marvel of modern technology known as the internet, and my willingness to spend $45 of my own money annually on a service that allows students’ grades to post online for individual view.

The individual in question (you know, the guy who wants to know if given his current grade he still has a chance to pass the class) has an “F” in the course. This “F” is the result of his only having turned in 2 of the required 5 assignments that I have collected thus far.

Why does he need my input? What student cannot figure out that turning in less than 50% of the required course material will lead to failing the course?

I gave him the only answer I could:

Of the five assignments I have collected and scored, you have only turned in two. If you intend to skip the majority of assignments, you will not pass. If you intend to focus on this course and turn in quality work on time, you can pass. It’s entirely up to you.

I got the typical response:

So, if I turn everything else in, I’ll pass?

I gave the typical response:

I cannot see into the future, and I have no control over the level of effort you put into this class. I can tell you not turning work in will lead to certain failure; whereas, turning in quality work in a timely manner will lead to passing. The keys here are quality work and timely manner. Merely turning work in does not guarantee earning a passing score. Without consistent, passing scores, you will not pass; however, consistent passing scores will lead to passing.

Let me tell you what this student is really thinking: I have two reading assignments, a second essay, and part of my research project coming due between now and Spring Break. If I’m not going to pass my English class, I don’t want to waste my time working on any of the assignments.

As the semester progresses, these inquiries will take the form of “What do I need to get on the final to pass this class?”

Apparently, I am supposed to take time away from my life to plug various potential scores into a student’s (pathetic) current grade to answer this. These students get warned that they are in trouble over and over again during the course of the semester, but they won’t take the time to talk with me during an office hour, during a conference, or after class ends because they can’t be bothered.

I made it a personal rule two years ago never to lend extra assistance to students who are not already helping themselves. I have spent far too much time bending over backwards for individuals whose problem isn’t a lack of opportunity but a lack of concern and an utter inability to prioritize school.

ADDENDUM:

Having spent some time this morning grading a few more of the first set of essays, I see another reason the above student wants to know where he stands: his first essay was purchased from one of the numerous online writing services. Obviously, he is debating whether or not to spend more money on Essay #2.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 12th, 2007 at 9:07 am and is filed under Comparison/Contrast, Education, English, Essay, Students, Teaching, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.